Verbal Self Defense.

It is very difficult to be in a situation where there is a verbal attack being made upon you.

The natural human instinct is to defend one’s self.

This is not always the best way to deal with a situation like this because it can lead to a more heated discussion and even to a full blown argument or fight.

Learning how to use verbal self defense can help you to calm down a situation without ever having it escalate to something more serious.

Many may feel that a verbal confrontation is not as dangerous as a physical one.

This belief may be erroneous, as those who are involved aggressively and passively can suffer physical illness and even a shortened lifespan due to the negative atmosphere they are living under.

When a human is confronted by anything that the brain determines is dangerous or life threatening, the first thing that happens is a reaction to the situation.

Verbal attacks are hurtful and can create chaos for the victim and the people around them.

This reaction happens without the chance for the brain to properly process the information. Instead of thinking if it is truly a dangerous situation, the brain skips that and jumps right to the defense mechanisms that were programmed into our brains when the human race was in its infancy, (fight or flight.)

This thought process was vital then for survival, but unless one is in a dangerous occupation or lives in a violent neighborhood, most of us are not generally going to be in real physical danger these days.

The problem is that this ancient defensive thought process has the habit of engaging when the threat is a verbal and not a physical one.

Your boss tactlessly points out a small error that you have made. Your spouse has a gripe. A drunken stranger speaks to you aggressively.

In the case of your boss chewing your ear, it obviously would not be a good idea to physically fight and maybe not such a good idea to verbally fight him or her.

This holds true even if the ticking off was unjustified. Flight would also be inappropriate.

In the case of the drunken stranger it would be best not to get yourself into an argument.

An argument with a drunk can easily escalate into an attack even if the drunk initially had no intention of physically assaulting you. Flight, in this case may be an answer but defusing the situation with verbal self defense is the best option.

Let's say you have a co-worker who is always on your case. This person enjoys criticizing you.

Instead of thinking if it is truly a dangerous situation, the brain skips that and jumps right to the defense mechanisms that were programmed into our brains when the human race was in its infancy.

They may make statements that deliberately get a reaction from you. That reaction is their reward.

If you get angry, they are rewarded. Become upset, they are rewarded. Plead with them, they are rewarded. Move away, they are rewarded.

As long as you keep giving the verbal bully what they want ( your reaction) they will keep coming back for more.

By employing verbal self defense techniques you take away the verbally abusive co-workers reward. There is no point in verbally baiting someone who does not respond in the way that gives them a kick.

The result – they leave you alone, go away and grow up or find somebody else to abuse.

Someone may not like the way you dress, and feels that they have the right to tell you so. They may not like the way you wear your hair, or your body shape, your beard, the newspaper that you are reading, or the choice of drink you order at the bar.

They may tell you they think you are a dork.

We spend our lives interacting with other people. Whenever we are with other people there is the chance of being the victim of verbal abuse and being in need of verbal self defense.

Reply in kind by telling them that you think they are a klutz, or that their dress sense also leaves a lot to be desired, and you likely have a slanging match on your hands and that could lead to physical assault. Verbal self defense is a tool that can be used to avoid and even end these verbal attacks for good.

There are techniques that teach you how to communicate and listen so that the attacker has no fun and no longer sees the victim as an easy target.

Many of these techniques can be taught in just a few minutes and can go a great way to ease an uncomfortable situation.

Are verbal self defense techniques the best methods to use in every situation?

Verbal assault is often a lead up to physical violence. Usually people don't just walk up to others and assault them.

Most often the confrontation starts with verbal anger which rapidly develops into violence. All the time that the confrontation is in the hostile language stage there is a chance that verbal defense can be used by the victim to prevent an attack.

In some cases though the attacker has made up his mind that there will be a physical assault no matter what. This may be particularly so in the case of racial abuse.

The assailant may start off with abusive language but no matter how you respond a physical onslaught follows.

In this sort of situation it is obvious that verbal self defense may not serve you well.

Far better to get yourself away from the assailant and to a place of safety. If that is not possible defend yourself from physical attack with self-defense.

It must be restated that in most instances where you are facing a verbal attack the perpetrator has no intention of making the attack physical. They are just looking to be rewarded by your reaction. You will soon learn to instinctively recognize the difference between the two.

We spend our lives interacting with other people. Whenever we are with other people there is the chance of being the victim of verbal abuse and being in need of verbal self defense.

Verbal attacks are hurtful and can create chaos for the victim and the people around them. The stress of these attacks can cause serious health issues for all parties who are involved and for innocent bystanders.

Learning how to verbally defend yourself is the best way to calm down the situation and to train the brain away from the flight or fight instinct that all humans have. There is no need to worry about flight or fight if the situation is diffused at the very beginning with verbal self defense.

Verbal Self Defense Books at Amazon.com