Date Rape

Statistics show that in the majority of cases, rape is not committed by the stranger who leaps out from behind bushes or drags his victim into a dark ally.

The majority of rapes are carried out by someone known to the victim.

That someone could be a friend, neighbor, boss, ex partner, spouse, teacher, manager, life long buddy, new found friend, chiropodist, coworker. Yes, even a close or distant relation.

A date rape could be defined as forced, or non-consensual, sexual acts committed by an attacker on a victim who the victim is acquainted with.

Clubs and bars can be fun, but there is always the need to be on your guard.

The victim is often intoxicated, or even made unconscious, by alcohol or drugs. Often these drugs (known as date rape drugs,) are given to the victim by the rapist without her knowledge.

Frequently the victim will have no memory of the assault, or the events leading to it, due to the effects of the drug.

• If going to a club, bar or party, go with a group of friends that you trust and stay with them. Leave the venue together.
• Agree with your friends to look out for one another.
• If you should meet someone you want to get to know better, do not go anywhere with them that night. Agree to meet with them at public place at another time.
• Be wary of people who seem to want to quickly push a relationship on to a more intimate level. Keep relationships at the level you feel comfortable with.
• Don't agree to be driven to a date. Drive yourself or take a cab, make sure that you have the fare for the journey back. Always meet at public places, never somewhere you and your date will be alone.
• Always tell someone where you are going, and don't let that place be changed. Carry a cell phone.
• Avoid situations where you do not feel in control, or do not feel comfortable, or which make you in any way nervous or fearful. It is always a good policy to trust your instincts.
• Avoid people who try to verbally overpower you and not allow you to make your own decisions. Always be assertive.
• Find out as much as you possibly can about the person you are meting before the date. Where does he work, where does he live, who does he hang out with.

• Do not leave your drink unattended. Keep it within your sight at all times. Avoid putting it down while you are talking, hold it in your hand.
• Do not ask someone, even a very good friend, to watch your drink for you, they may get distracted.
• Discard unattended drinks.
• If your drink taste strange in any way, discard it.
• Do not accept a drink from someone unless you know them well and trust them completely. This includes drinks of any kind, not only alcohol.
• If someone offers to buy a drink for you, go to the bar with them and watch the drink poured and prepared. Always get drinks from the bar and not from a waitress.
• Avoid the punchbowl at parties, you do not know what has been mixed in.
• Be aware of who is around you and what is going on around you at all times.
• Always remember that alcohol alone, without anything being slipped into it, and even in small amounts, can effect your ability to make a decision.

He looks, and acts, like anyone at all. If someone is trying to persuade you to do something they are usually friendly and charming. Same with a date rapist. They will try every trick in the book to get you somewhere private and to submit to their demands.

Date Rape Drugs. Do not leave your drink unattended. Keep it within your sight at all times.

Just because someone is acting nice does not mean they have good intentions.

Someone intent on date rape can be aggressive too, especially so if they have some sort of authority, an employer for example. They may badger you to go on a date, banking on you not wanting to upset them by refusing. Then when you are on the date that you did not want they may use the same pressure to force sex with you.

Date rape is as traumatizing as any other rape and often more so. The fact that you know your attacker does not alter the fact that rape is rape.

Sometimes victims of acquaintance rape have difficulty in accepting that someone they know, and even trusted, has sexually assaulted them. The victims worry that they are overreacting, make excuses to themselves about the perpetrators actions, and may even blame themselves for the rape. Being raped can never be your fault.

Date rape can be committed by a partner that you have consented to having sex with on a prior occasion.

Just because you agreed to sex with the person last week it does not mean that you cannot refuse today. It is always your decision to make no matter how many times you may have consented to sex with that person in the past.

There are essential actions that need to be taken as soon as possible after any rape, including date rape.

The first thing is to get yourself away from your attacker and to a safe place. Once you are safe get to a hospital.

To preserve evidence that will help to convict the rapist, it is important not to wash or change your clothes. If possible do not touch anything at the place of the attack.

The medical staff at the hospital will treat any injuries and administer a standard rape kit examination. The rape kit is sealed and submitted to the police.

The hospital will likely provide initial counseling and also advise you of the choices you have for support.

As well as receiving hospital treatment it is important that the police are informed. The date rapist has abused your trust in a vile way, he needs to be brought to justice. Even if you avow never to give the attacker another opportunity to date rape you, there is the possibility he will assault someone else.

The effects of a rape can last for a long time after the attack. It is extremely important that you receive professional counseling.

It is very normal to experience feelings of shock, confusion, fear, anger and even guilt. These and other emotions may make discussing the date rape difficult, but a professional counselor will be supportive and help you throughout the process.

In addition to counseling it is advisable to join a support group. Here you will be able to talk with other victims of date rape who have experienced the same challenges and emotional trauma.

Throughout this page it is inferred that the date rapist is male and the victim is female, because in the vast majority of cases they are. But it must be remembered that it is not always so. Same sex date rape does happen, and females can be abusers and males the victims.

Social and other interaction between human beings will always be part of life. We need to interact with people. The fear of acquaintance rape should not stop you living the life you want to lead. By being aware of the danger of date rape and how to prevent it, you reduce the possibility of it happening to you. Stay safe.

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